I have many friends but few that love me through the superficial. This thought of mine goes back to a philosophy conference I attended in Saltillo, Mexico. It was given in French, not Spanish. Luckily I had a translater. The conference was focused on the philosophy of (in laymen terms because I can't remember the technical terms) being. Just being. The being of yourself, others and what will last, change, or fade away. We went through loving a friend for their characteristics, knowledge, temperament, similarities, and what they have to offer [you]. The question was, "Will you still love them if they didn't possess those qualities?" Meaning, will you love their soul, their being that doesn't change and will never change.
This might just solve marital problems, sibling struggles, and all relationships. I asked this question to a friend of mine who was dating someone at the time. He didn't really know how he felt about her. He knew he was infactuated with her and loved her but didn't know if his love was mature. So I asked him the question. Would you love her if she had no hair? Seriously, it needed to be asked. He said yup. Good job, Slick. Would you love her if she was overweight? Would you love her if she lost her intelligence? Would you love her if her cooking was next to dogfood? Would you love her if, if, if? Obviously, you can't ask this to someone who just started dating someone. Their relationship needs to be mature. But these simple q's are great to mull over in each relationship you have because we want to get past all of these superficial things. We want to get to that pasture where souls are seen and hair, dimples, and men with really strong arms and beautiful smiles are just overlooked...welcomed, mesmerizing and definitely appreciated, but overlooked. It's no easy task but once you get there, it's even more amazing then those dimples and strong arms.
Basically, to cut to the chase, love your friends and spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends for what doesn't change in them. Love what their Creator loves. Love them like the Creator. You may lose your attraction to them or they may lose what they offered you but love them for them. For their existence. If we love people for their existence and not what they can give to us then we're loving what's in them that doesn't change. Today is All Saints Day...let's love like they might have loved.