Church in China

So this is what I was writing to a friend who was living in China. I wrote this to him 3 years ago.
I'm putting this on this blog so I can read it later when I get a chance because my writing is not doing so hot right now. Plus, I thought all of you would dig it. :) Enjoy!

  The majority of persons will not stand up for what they believe in if it contradicts the government (if the government indeed has right to control their lives or demean them in any way). Therefore, why take that risk and make life less desirable? It's unreasonable! But one of the difficulties in the Catholic Church in China (from what I was taught) is that most of the bishops and priests aren't in line with the Holy Father (they weren't ordained by the Roman Catholic Church), therefore they are unable to give the right sacraments and are unable to preach the teachings correctly. I think this is the main concern of the Holy Father and the Holy See. There are few clerigy in China that are actually in line with the Pope and this is the problem.

So to give them a higher level of formation (a more integral formation) --the ones who are actually in line with the Holy Father--would allow them to better direct the lay members they are involved with. To better educate the lay members means to live Christ's love more fully and correctly outside the Church. It's a domino effect I think. Get to the priests first and they'll get to the faithful and the faithful will get to the non-Catholics and the "fallen-away Catholics".

But really, I totally see what you mean. Why give them better formation, more rounded formation, if they are already doing the best they can do?? I guess it's wanting to give them more options of spreading the Word of God. I don't think Rome is okay with sitting back and thinking they couldn't do better...which is understandable and creditable.

And you're absolutely right. Everyone SHOULD have the right to voice their opinion...but that's not how it is in some countries; which makes it hard to follow Christ and His Church because you're being forced to follow the government instead and keep shut about anything other than. I think the Catholic Church just wants to make things a little easier for people to believe and follow...but ultimately will never get there in this life. ;) I guess the Holy Father just wants to tend to his sheep as a loving shepard should do. [He also writes to the Chinese Catholics. There's one letter he wrote to the Chinese Catholics on the Vatican website: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/special_features/chinese/index.htm
I haven't read it since then ('07) so I can't comment on it.]

And that's why we are still having martyrs to this day because there are a few that will stand up for what they believe in and are killed because they will not denounce their faith (in extreme situations.) I wish I had that kind of courage and conviction but I fail many times--and I'm not even in a country that would make me denounce my faith in order to live!!! It's definitely easier said than done. I can talk about how we should do this and that all day long but will turn around and do the opposite. We're weak but we should at least try to be strong as Christ did when he took the crucifixion...and as all the martyrs do when they will not denounce Christ as their Saviour and Lord. (Or as the nuns who were raped and murdered in India just for being nuns this last semester.) It's a cruel world which gives us all the more reason to stand up and give testimony for what is love and right--for what is God.

Bet you weren't expecting an essay on what I thought. :) Haha!! But I wasn't expecting such a great response! I love the way you think! And it's so nice to talk to you about these kinds of things. And of course I can say what I have but I'm not the one living in China. I've got it extremely easy--overly easy--here in TX. Don't know if I'd be able to stand my ground in any other country...especially China. Can you even wear a crucifix around your neck? I'm clueless to how the reality is over there. So because of this my little essay has no ground or credible thought. But it was fun anyway! ;) There's not a lot of people that would speak to me about this...and definitely nobody I know could educate me on the Catholic Church in China but you...not that I need to know, but you're fun to talk to, ol' buddy!

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Aha, well said. But a martyr isn't named by the Church if they are flaunting their beliefs or faith...or even the name of their faith. A martyr is someone who by chance was in a situation where they would have to denounce God as their Lord to please another sinner. It goes back to when Jesus wouldn't denounce Himself for the sake of others' gratification. (I'm really not saying anything you don't already know--just trying to enlighten what a true martyr is so you can see the glory in it) He was crucified because He didn't lie about the Truth. No body sane wants to die especially if it's by a word from our own mouth. We would be inclined to lie in order to save our lives. That's what makes martyrs extraordinary.

The Church wouldn't name someone a martyr if they flaunted their faith and was killed this way...no, not at all. Those people must have some screws lose or be mentally ill because that's not sane or normal behavior by any means. But if a person lived as faithful as they could daily and strived to be like Christ and were humble...and they so happened to be murdered by -not PROnouncing as a crazy person would- but by not DEnouncing it, then they most likely will be named a martyr of Christ by the Church.

I hope that the economy crisis will open the hearts, minds, and eyes of North America to live like they do in China--as content and happy with little; to not live comfortably (the dream of America) but to live simply so that others may simply live. Wouldn't that be a dream? ;) I don't blame you if you find that pleasing because it's how we should live. Eat it up. We don't learn and grow if we don't experience and we don't experience if we don't live, right? ;)

Territory of Human Existence: Casual Cruelty

It happens way more often than we want it to. We go about our business and as soon as we turn around we're stabbed in the back. Not everyone intentionally does this to us but sometimes it's the indifferent attitude that forces their actions.

There's a song by St Vincent called Cruel. After watching it the other day it's been coming back up in my memory throughout my days.

I know some people may think it's too dark and depressing but if you look into what is being portrayed you'll see something that goes beyond the hurt and betrayal. I believe this song is about something more than what I'm touching on here but it would turn this post into a short story which I don't feel like doing. So there.

I can definitely relate to this video and song in so many ways. I also often wonder how could we all be so casually cruel. Not just down right cruel but casually cruel. Softly. Nonchalantly. Like it's not a big deal. Like it goes with the territory of human existence.

Beyond this hurt and betrayal of others' actions is the cause, the breaking point that makes another act. I believe it to be indifference in the case of casual cruelty. My co-worker threw me under the bus with a smile on his face earlier this evening and I was shocked. Not because he did what he did but because he did it with a smile on his face and a twitch in his heart.

In the song she says "they could take or leave you....so they took you and they left you". I meditated on this for quite some time after the fact and it felt so good to dissect it. I've had this done to me way more often than not. People are given two options: take you (your friendship, love, charity, generosity, time) or leave you (pass you by like you weren't worth their time). People who take both options think they have authority over a person's kindness and do not care if they cause a tare in your flesh. Their hearts are made of stone and indifference runs deep in their blood. I'd rather someone hate me because at least then they'll have some passion towards me, but indifference? Is cold. Why do so many people act this way? Do I do this to them??? This treatment causes so much pain I would absolutely die instead of putting someone through this. But then I go back to the beginning and as I said before, "it's the indifferent attitude that forces their actions." If I'm indifferent, could care less about anything, I need to focus on changing that because it's the root of being casually cruel. And I think we all have the tendency in us.

Footnote: indifference=lukewarm
"But because you are lukewarm and are neither cold nor hot, I will begin to vomit you out of my mouth." -Revelation 3:16
Apparently God hates this too. He knew we would be like this. And it's not like He's just like, "oh yeah, try not to be lukewarm because then you'll hurt your neighbor." NO. He'll flippin' puke us out of His mouth!!! This is clearly a huge red flag for God! Wish I could've picked up on it sooner.

Go and change everything you're indifferent about. (except for the color of your bed sheet or type of pen you want to write in today....that won't hurt anyone's feelings) Let's make this world something to live in rather than something to be hurt from.

Women Finding God in Secular Places

Women finding God in secular places. Single women. Professional women. Married women. Housewifes, mothers, grandmothers. This is for you.

I don't believe that in order to find God you need to be in a certain physical location. God is found in bars, brothels and Churches. But I do believe that your heart needs to be in a certain location.

I am a single women in her 20's and I roam the city of Houston quite frequently alone. Thrift stores, downtown dining areas, Churches, and even backroad down in "unsafe" neighborhoods of the third and fifth ward. I find many attractions and not so good things.

Recently I've been frequenting Buffalo Exchange, which I know isn't all that "thrifty" considering it's a chain but I go for the bargains and interesting staff. Some people snicker at me for going to such places because a white female apparently isn't supposed to be seen in such an area. But I have a question: why do females have to live a safe and secure life? Why do we have to live on the highest story of a building and let only our hair hit the floor? What gave society the authority to give us this stigma? Society might live in fear but we don't have to. If we succumb to society's mentality we aren't following our hearts. We aren't following our deepest desires. We aren't being the women God made us to be. Furthermore, not living life to the full is not feminine. I think these fairytales men have made up along the way for children and daydreamers have twisted true femininity into a delusional idea: fear and weakness.

If we look into what fear is we find it is for the cowardly, the unsurity of something or someone. I believe it is for the weak. God doesn't want us to be weak. How could we live such a courageous life as Christian women if we fear what society thinks of us or our lifestyle? What about all those female martyrs in India just a few years ago being killed for being nuns! The killers asked them if they believed in God, they gave their fiat and were dead. That takes conviction, love and courage. If you are a Christian woman and you don't pray outside your Church or home for fear others may find it disturbing, you're not following God. If you are not holding men accountable for their actions and words, you're not a feminine Christian female. If you are wearing those stylish short shorts because that's all you could find, you are not being a woman of Christ. Men need strong women who know their virtues and which virtues they need. Men need women with TRUE femininity: chaste, nuturing, loving, forgiving, strong, convicted, knowledgable. What they don't need is what society is feeding our little girls: immodesty, damsel in distress, fear, bubbled, unintelligent, weak, materialistic, plastic. If the men fall, it's because the women might have pushed them with their twisted mentality. You don't want men to treat you like an object? Dress modestly and act modestly. Do not give into temptation as sweet as he may be.

Fear isn't for us, ladies. Stand on the head of the evil as Mary, the Mother of God does. We have the power to do so, given to us by God Himself. So live your life concuring the deepest desires of your heart and you'll be living in prayer with God because He is the one who put those desires in your heart. That's where we'll find God. In the midst of the city streets roaming around is a woman just like you and in her heart she knows what's true: it's God within her. Find the location in your heart for God.

Sprinkle of Hope

Feeling unloved? Unwanted? Seems no one around you cares you exist?
Don't you worry. It was Jesus Himself who came to earth to show us who He is and what He is (IS, ...not was) willing to do for you. Don't think your existence matters? If your existence didn't matter then why were you born? Why did He think of you and create you? Instead of focusing so much on your existence focus on His, and others around you. His life wouldn't have been the same if He were not going to create you. Stay. Live. With Him. He clearly created you because He wanted to spend time with you; He wanted you to experience His Love. Haven't yet? Then you need to grow in patience, grasshopper. His time is not our time, but He will reveal His Love to you in little things. See Him in what you love. Adventure. Thunder. Chillin in a hot tub with a cold beer in your hands--what, I'm Texan. Just wait and see.

The Weight Front

One thing I never joke about is weight. Every person born and over the age of 15 has a weight "problem". It starts when we are young. Pushed onto us by the adults. Everyone has received a comment about their weight be it nice or not so nice. My question is, "WHY EVEN COMMENT ON SOMEONE'S WEIGHT?" I don't understand. What does the weight of a person's body matter to anything besides health?? And therefore, no one has the right to say anything to another about their weight unless they are an MD and concerned for their health.

People don't get it when and if I say, "I'm sensitive about my weight" because they assume if I'm not overweight then I should have no problem. WRONG! And if they think I haven't been teased about my weight because I'm "thin" then they better think again. Ever since I was born people have had something to say about my weight....most of them without knowing me. As soon as I was born my grandmother had my mother take me to the doctors because she was "concerned" about my weight (being too thin). MD said nothing was at all wrong with my health. In first grade peers started measuring my wrists with their fingers. In 2nd grade me and my best friend (who had the same problem) would suck in our stomachs to give the kids something really to be joke about. We got a kick out of it. Middle school girls would tease me and another friend of mine who was thin. We were the "sticks". Boys would tease us because according to them, since they were experts in this field at age 12, we had no curves (this is putting it nicely instead of using their language.) High school came with both sexes doing these same things but also with comments such as, "I bet you can eat anything you want," or "have you eaten today?" and "let me feed you" and many of, "why don't you eat??"'s. These questions are extremely ignorant. Seriously. If I didn't eat, then I wouldn't be alive. And if I didn't eat today, would I be laughing as much as i do?? sheesh.

I've never been able to give blood because I "weigh below the limit." This is medically acceptable I guess but it just adds to the problem since not just peers and elders tell you this but officials in front of your peers. Giving them more ammunition for rude comments. Now that I'm past the college age, I still recieved ALL of these reactions and comments. From coworkers and bosses! Many of which are a few decades older than I am. Whoever says with age comes class is wrong!

Ever since I was in middle school I've tried gaining weight. I'd take my brother's creatine protein shakes. I'd eat a whole loaf of bread (parents hated me doing this) I'd double my servings, but nothing seemed to get me over the 5 pound gain mark. Now people are saying, "oh, (chuckle) just wait until you're older. You'll have the same problems as the rest of us." Like I'm some kind of alien! Dude, just because I have a different problem then yours doesn't make yours worse or worthy of more pity than mine. Just sayin....I'm totally venting.

Look, rude weight commenters, weight shouldn't even be talked about. But it's talked about during lunches, dinners, parties, meeting a friend you haven't seen in a while "you look fabulous *while checking you out up and down*." And since I do ballet the comments are double as often. "Oh, that's why you look like that." People have such classy manners. So polite in wording. Ha!

Let's all take a break from commenting on other people's weight. Who cares if they are x-small, small, medium, large, or x-large. We aren't french fries.

We are people. With feelings. And souls. And brains. Let's let the size front only matter with our coffee and french fry orders. There are so many other things to say to someone.

Much love to you all,
Hope

A Yearning

Ever have the urge to have someone near you? Close by your side? Today I was contemplating this yearning we human beings have. I came to realize that it wasn't just me, but we all have this need to be near someone else besides ourselves. Nuns, monks, priests, hermits, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, single men and women; we all have this same need. My last post of my dream with Kim explains where these contemplations have risen.

I have always wanted to be close to Kim, even when she aggravated or perturbed me. I wanted her near me. Still do! I don't know her feelings towards me when she passed, but I know my yearning to be near her never subsided. So the flopping in the dreams of my following her and her following me posed the question in my mind of who yearns for who and what this might mean or what the cause of it all is. It led me to the Adoration Chapel (where the Eucharist is held) to ask from the Creator of these yearnings and the answers to the questions. While there on the floor in the fetal prostration before the Shepard I realized...that if we ever lack affection from someone, He is there with affection for us. If we ever lack affection for someone, He teaches us how to live affectionately. Which answers the question so many people have for priests and nuns: "Aren't you lonely without a spouse? Don't you long for a spouse for affection?"

Christ gives us everything we ever need and desire. He built this desire of affection within us--of course He'll fulfil it! I noticed in myself that if I don't get my desired dose of affection, I'm in front of the Eucharist soaking all the Love in whether in Mass, Adoration, or Reconciliation (Confession). He won't leave you starving. No! He lavishes all His riches of love on you when you need it. And for me and all the other single people, we just happen to desire more of Him than those who get their desired dose of affection from their spouse. We frequent the Sacraments a wee bit more often, but I wouldn't have it any other way. This is why we desire affection from others, it simply brings us closer to God! The one who can shove more love on you than any other being! He can shove ALL He wants. I am here accepting Him.

I'll have to leave you with a song that popped into my head while leaving Adoration. Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson. And don't forget!: "happy is the heart that still feels pain." Enjoy and see you all in a few!

I Love. That's All. I Just Love.

There's a song that expresses how I feel most days:

It's crazy how this song nailed my feelings on the head. And I know this is how a lot of people feel too, which makes it incredible. I love how so many people love God. (Let's not focus on the ones that don't love Him right now, k? :)

So, it's mother's day and I just wanted to wish all you beautiful mothers out there in this world a happy and blessed mothers day! :) I don't know how y'all do it, so thank you for following your calling in being mothers! Truly remarkable. I just got off the phone with my mother. Yea, she totally left me stranded after middle school but at least she raised me till I was 13! Some people don't even get 13 years with their mothers, so I had to thank her for her selflessness by putting up with me for 13 years. We discussed how different we are (total extremes, us two) and laughed about it. She told me she never understood me because we were always so different. We always had different views. For instance, when she would ask me what I wanted my husband to look like, I answered with something along the lines of: "handsome, but he has to want to adopt orphans too." She has the typical girl mind (I'm the weird one.) She got excited over boys when she was young. I never did she said. Yes, I had crush after crush after crush, but she said they never were my goal. And she says she never understood that, because that was her goal. After talking about this she laughed and said, "Hope, it's going to take a really special guy to get you married." Ha! So true. I won't get married unless the guy is some kind of orphan loving, mission oriented, justice serving Catholic dude who is in love with God more than he's in love with me type of dude. Heck, I won't even date a guy unless he is someone like this! But alas, no one like this is ever interested in me! :) Plus, there are very few of these types of men. Anyhoo, I'm not planning on meeting anyone like this because I still don't see me spending my life on earth married with children. Instead, I see myself mentoring children and young adults and the sick. I see myself not as a housewife but as a servant to the world.

Anyway, keep listening to the song up above. It'll make you dance. :)